Here is the thing, y’all…
I am an incredibly honest person. I have always been truthful, but this past year I have really tried hard to make brutal, utter honesty a prominent character trait of mine. I find that the less I sugar coat things, the less stress I feel. This way, the worst anyone can say about me is that I am honest. I’ll take that. That being said, I told myself I would always be authentic and truthful on this platform. I would like to talk a little about what this past year was like from different angles.
As I have been packing up and moving into my new apartment, I have been all up in my feels. So much happened here. This apartment witnessed the most incredible transition of my life. This was the place where I learned to genuinely love myself. Sounds basic and cheesy, but I’d like to break it down.
2021 was the best and worst year all at the same time. If I am speaking candidly, it was f***ing awful a lot of the time. I had some amazing moments and this is what y’all mostly got to see as the year went on. I chose to exclude the photos of me crying, constantly feeling like a failure and getting kicked while I was already down. This is your reminder that social media is great, but remember it is everyone’s highlight reel. I don’t feel like mostly sharing the fun, happy parts of your life is a bad thing. I don’t think the world is entitled to see your rough moments. Just keep that in mind as you scroll.
When I moved into this apartment a year ago, I was in the beginning stages of uprooting the life that I knew, starting a business with little to no direction, and trying to find myself. Yikes. I was honestly a hot mess… or most recently I have enjoyed subbing out that term for a “spicy disaster”, so pick your favorite. Over the course of this year I had to learn and come to terms with some really hard truths about myself and people that were close to me at the time. It was rough.
Hard Truths
I didn’t love myself the way I needed to.
I had chosen to keep the wrong people close.
I was allowing others to hurt me and decide how I felt about myself.
People I loved were taking advantage of me, simply because they could.
You can explain someone’s behavior all damn day, but that doesn’t give them an excuse to treat you any less than what you’re worth.
This apartment got to watch the beauty in the disaster unfold. I don’t regret a single second. I found myself. Not enough people can say that about themselves, or even pinpoint the time in their life when it happened. So, thank you 803.
I feel like when we are in high school we all spend a lot of time thinking about what our lives will look like. We create a timeline of milestones we want to hit in life. I always envisioned a time where I would live with some of my best friends and make wild choices and unforgettable memories. This was my senior year of college. I got to live out that part of my vision. 865, you were a dream. Probably one of the best years of my life.
This fact is the reason I am beyond excited for this next chapter. Another milestone I have been looking forward to my entire life is living on my own, being successful, having a studio apartment in a city with a big window and a view. It is one of those dreams you can really see, and then when it happens for real, you are standing there in awe, realizing that you made it and you are living your dream. I couldn’t have asked for a better chapter to follow the last one. I can't wait to show you all my new place. As soon as I trim down the maze of boxes, I won't be able to stop posting about it, I promise lol.
Thank you to everyone who helped me get to where I am today. I have met some remarkable people this year. I also got to spend time and be “real friends” with people that have been in my life for a long time. I have wonderful people in my life.
This is your reminder to never feel guilty or sad about cutting people out of your life that no longer add a positive value. This world is full of people who will better your life and work to be a part of it. Surround yourself with those people.
Reminders
Put yourself & your happiness first every single time.
There are too many people in this world to keep people in your life that don’t make you feel as incredible as you are.
Believe in your dreams. Make them happen.
If you aren’t happy with your life, really take the time to decide what is most important to you - no one has it all, so decide what means the most to you and make that happen.
This is trending on Tik Tok so I’m not trying to be basic but, show up as the version of yourself that you aspire to be every day. Eventually you will become that person.
Always find the good.
~ Shelby Paige
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