As this year comes to an end I have found myself doing a lot of reflecting on who I was and what I was doing this time last year. I realized how far I have come as a person and all of the difficult lessons I learned this year. I am beyond grateful for this year. Even though it was a b***h to get through, I had to do it in order to get where I am now. I love my life, who I am & the people I surround myself with. With that said, as much as we learned, let's not do it again. 🥴 I am definitely happy to be at the finish line of 2021 lol.
Here are the top 21 lessons I learned in 2021.
1. Never apologize for who you are, what you stand for or what you like
Always be your unapologetic self. I spent wayyyy too much time caring about what other people thought about me. Be confident in who you are. Learn from the opinions of others and grow, but never apologize for what makes you happy and what you believe in.
2. Don’t compromise your time for anyone unwilling to compromise theirs
I often found myself compromising my own happiness and time to make sure that everyone else was happy and their needs were taken care of. What the heck?! The needs of others are important but when you are constantly giving and never seeing anything in return from someone it is time to stop.
3. Spend more time with yourself
This one is really important. I have always enjoyed time by myself but I never made time for it. I have learned so much about myself and what makes me amazing. When you see your own worth you will begin to expect that view from those around you. I have seen a serious shift in my priorities this year and I am so happy with the stage of my life that I am in.
4. Always say, “Yes!” to an adventure
Even when it was super inconvenient and completely illogical to go on an adventure I said yes every single time this year. Guess what, no regrets! I made some of the best memories of my life with some incredible people. Memories are more valuable than tangible items or a bigger savings account. Just my opinion and a lesson I learned for myself. 🤷♀️
5. Make time for the important people in your life
Carve out time in your life for the people that matter the most to you. The friends & family that are always there for you deserve your time. Make sure they always feel appreciated and loved. No matter how busy you are, there is always a way to make time for these people. Don’t lose sight of who is important.
Tip: I schedule out my day by the hour every week day to make sure I get all my business and personal tasks accomplished and I make sure to schedule time & reminders for these people.
6. Always find a place for new friends
No matter how many friends you already have, make a place and time for new friends. Everyone has a story and can add something amazing to your life. Move to the new city. Make new friends. Find parts of yourself that you didn’t know you were missing. I made some wonderful friends this year in Charleston and I am so grateful I trusted my instincts.
7. Find the beauty in each stage of life
Each stage of life has a purpose. I always say that you never “have it all”. There is always something you feel like you are missing even if you are currently living the life you once dreamed of. Find the beauty in the small moments and lessons. Appreciate them. One day you’ll miss it. Live in the moment.
8. Make your mental health & happiness your top priority
I cannot stress this one enough. I spent so much of my life putting other people first at the expense of my mental health and happiness. Everyone needs to just stop doing that. Communication is key.
9. Remember there are 3 sides to every story
Always hear every side of the story. No one ever has the whole story. Each perspective is different.
10. Not everyone has to stay in your life. Some people have a short term purpose in your life.
I have always had a hard time letting people into my life only to not keep in touch with them. That concept has always bothered me. The idea that people can be such an important part of your life and then just not in it at all. This year I learned that sometimes people come into your life to bring you to new places, people and memories. They aren’t necessarily meant to stay.
11. Discover what your simple pleasures in life are
Like I said, I never used to make enough time for myself. Turns out simple pleasures are super important. I love cooking. Who would've thought I would ever say that. Let me set the scene; There is nothing more therapeutic to me cooking a recipe from my Magnolia Table cookbook, a glass of wine in hand, dancing around my kitchen to the Dinner With Friends playlist on Spotify, wearing my cozy knit socks, a Target lounge set and candles everywhere. When this is followed by a bath with a bath bomb from Old Whaling Co. and I have a tub of cookie dough I am happy as a clam. I have always loved the beach but I have come to appreciate going to the beach by myself a lot more.
12. Take time for yourself to pause, reflect & appreciate your life
I have noticed a lot more that I take the time to pause and reflect while I am still in a great moment as opposed to after it has passed. I used to just journal about events after they happened but I have found this amazing feeling in reflecting while you are in the moment. An example is recently I was out with my friends in Charleston and we were all laughing so hard at something and I sat there in that moment and just simply appreciated them so much.
13. You can explain someone's behavior all day, but that doesn’t excuse their actions.
These are words to 👏 live 👏 by 👏! I say this often, actually. This was one of the most challenging lessons to learn. I used to think that I was being understanding and gracious with people when I was using the understanding of their past to excuse their behavior now. Holy crap, was I screwing myself over doing that! Just because you can explain why someone is the way that they are, does not excuse their behavior and how they treat you!
14. Celebrate everything you can. There are enough tough times, celebrate when good things happen, even if they are small.
Especially post quarantine, it is so important to celebrate every small success. Let’s be honest, I celebrate doing my laundry with ice cream, I think that’s fair. Being an adult is tough and I think we just deserve to celebrate being good adults more often. Treat yourself.
15. Be proud of who you are and everything that you have overcome
You have overcome a lot this year. Give yourself credit for that. I know I often focus on what I didn’t accomplish rather than what I did. That is just inaccurate and bad for my mental health so why do I do that? Be PROUD of everything that you have done. You truly deserve it.
16. Try new places, hobbies, activities… but do it on your own terms.
I learned that I love trying new things, but I like doing them on my own terms. There is nothing wrong with that. I have had a lot of people in my life constantly telling me that I should try new things when they think I should. I know they meant well, but the reality is that you shouldn’t feel shamed by others for wanting to try things on your own terms, in your own way.
17. If you aren't having fun, do something else.
I feel like we are taught growing up that if you are struggling and unhappy for most of your life it will pay off in the end. That is simply the most ridiculous concept I have heard. Why should I spend my twenties not having fun? Do what makes you happy. Take the risk and bet on yourself. Life is way too short to spend it unhappy.
18. Whatever your problem is, Taylor Swift is the answer.
I mean I definitely already knew this, but the 10 minutes of “All Too Well” really solidified it for me.
19. Dance will heal you. Every time.
After I graduated from High Point University in 2019 I didn’t dance for about a year. This was really just because I was transitioning to South Carolina, then COVID hit and I just really didn’t feel like dancing. I was pretty down in general. I started dancing again about a year ago and found a wonderful dance family here in Charleston. I need dance in my life and I will never let it go for that long again. It heals me every time.
20. Journal every day. Even the insignificant ones are important.
We all know I have been journaling since I was six years old. Sometimes I am more consistent about it than others. Sometimes I am too exhausted and I don’t want to so I just don’t. Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with my problems so I avoid them all together. I learned that I need to always force myself to write even when I really don’t want to. There are so many important lessons in the “insignificant” moments in one day. They are worth writing about. I will never look back and regret writing.
21. Life is short. Don’t always play it safe. Live your life the way you want to. I would rather look back on the moments in my life and think to myself, “I can’t believe I did that!”, then “I wish I had.”
Whatever you envision for your life, make it happen. Don’t get stuck in the day to day “grind”. Take time to live out the life you dreamed of. I would always rather look back and be astonished that I pulled an all nighter to catch a flight to Disney to spend a whirlwind of a weekend with some of my best friends, than look back and wish I had made it happen. Life is short, there is no sense in not living it the way you want to.
xoxo ~ Shelby Paige 🖤
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